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Weirding people out since 2006.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

When I Take Over the World, Pt One: Who Dies

One of my passtimes is figuring out who gets to live and who must die when the time comes that I take over the world.

Hey, it could happen.

Dies:

1) Anyone who has the remotest capabilities of inventing a time machine. Sorry, but I don't want all my hard work to go to waste because of a glitch in the time-space continuum.

2)China. Either get acquainted with the term "human rights" or you're history bub. Same goes for any other country with this issue. Yeah, I'm talking about you Korea!

3)Iraq. Just blow up the whole damn middle east in one shot so we can be done with it. Frankly, I'm tired of them hogging all the headlines.

4)Politicians. Either get a damn opinion that means something or get the fuck out.

5)Drunks & druggies. Why the hell should my kids have their lives endangered because you can't get your shit together? And don't give me that crap about how it's an addiction, I don't care.

6)Anyone who substitutes a PC term for a perfectly fine non-PC term. I can accept the fact you don't want to offend anyone who doesn't deserve it, but does "differently abled" really mean anything? We're ALL differently abled. Disabled is just fine folks. Hell, I'll even accept "physically disabled" because it differentiates from the "mentally disabled."

7)Prejudicial, chauvanistic bigots. There are plenty of reasons to hate folks on an individual basis, to isolate a group is severely limiting your mental capabilities.

8)Any idiots not covered in the groups above. This includes, but is not limited to...my neighbors, my in-laws (except my mother-in-law, she rocks), a certain non-writer with the initials "NP" (and any of his adamant supporters, you know who you are), my oldest son's third grade teacher, my fourth grade teacher, random dipwaddy suck-ups (well not so random, *cough* mac *cough*), and anyone else I forgot to mention.

Please feel free to leave your suggestions in my comments.

3 comments:

Casie S. said...

I AGREE ON "NP". I completely forgot that I have to show you the wonderful e-mails from him. E-mail me or something and I'll show you them (I'm fairly sure I still have them). This non-writer should probably be one of the first knocked off. I can't stand him!

Cindy L. said...

*ahem* CHINA?! If you mean the government, fiiiiine....all governments should be dissolved. Except yours, of course :-)

Brigitta M. said...

Oops, my bad, of course I meant the "government" of China (as opposed to all of the Chinese people). That being said, I disagree that all governments should be dissolved (which will be explained in a later part in this series).