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Weirding people out since 2006.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Defining Stupidity

Miss Snark calls them "nitwits", I call them "pitchfork wielding maniacs" either way it's stupidity by those who, by all accounts, should know better. If it's a temporary lack of judgement, that's one thing, but if it's permanent, chronic and/or consistant enough to be considered part of your character then it should be punishable by death. Preferably a death that is both slow and painful.

So, who gets the axe (or spork)? Let's start off by considering who does not die.

  • Anyone who can prove actual brain damage to one degree or another. This includes: sufferers of Down's Syndrome or other birth defects as well as anyone who has suffered something along the lines of a car accident or a baseball to the noggin. Note: these accidents must include head injuries with CAT scans to back up their area of incompetence.
  • Anyone who is too young to know any better.

If there is anybody out there who can think of reasons not listed as viable excuses for pitchfork-wielding behavior, then feel free to post them on my comments.

Now, onto the list of definitions of stupidity:

  • Anyone who judges someone purely on the way they look. I believe it was Bill Engvall who first said: "There are plenty of reasons to hate people on an individual basis" or something along those lines. Extra torture points if your reasons for hating said groups of people is somewhere along the lines of "because my parents did" or "because my friends do." This only emphasizes your incompetence to think for yourself.
  • Anyone who believes everything the media tells them. Newspapers, magazines, TV news, what have you are there not to tell you the truth, but to sell a product.
  • Anyone who believes everything they read on the internet. A freeform arena like the web allows everyone to voice their opinion and dole out their miniscule to mediocre knowledge on any subject they damn well please. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of the information out there is both miniscule and mediocre.
  • Anyone who believes everything I write on this blog is true. Frankly, anyone who does scares me and should be the first in line for torture/killing.
  • Anyone who deliberately goes out of their way to hurt or in any other way harm those that are weaker then them. This includes, but is not limited to the emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse of animals and children. If you're bigger and/or stronger then you don't need to brag about it, we can see your muscles. Pick on someone your own size.

Feel free to expound on this list in the comments section. I'm sure there are large chunks of human stupidity that I've skipped over.

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