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Weirding people out since 2006.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Da Rules for Zombie Survival


  1. Accept the reality, zombies exist. This will keep you from panicking.

  2. Know your limits. Zombies are tireless creatures who tend to amass in hordes. If you feel exhausted, outsmart them instead of outrunning them.

  3. Avoid travelling if at all possible, but if you must, go with someone you trust to have your back.

  4. Furthermore, when travelling, do it during the day. Whether or not zombies have better night vision than we do is a subject of some debate, but the fact is, you have a better chance to survive if you can see them before they can see you, and this is a lot easier during the daylight hours.

  5. Always know where your weapon is. Better still, have more than one.

  6. Never, whatever you do, assume that they're all gone. I don't care if you heard it from a "reliable source." If they showed up once, they can and will return at any moment.

  7. There's a time to be witty and charming and there's a time to shut the fuck up. Know how to discern between the two.

  8. Pay attention to your clothing. Is it as thick as the weather permits? A suit of armor is ideal when it comes to durability, but it lacks in mobility. A helmet, while not necessarily stylish, may keep the zombies out of your brain. The most important thing though, is to keep your outfit as close to your body as possible. Loose and baggy may just give the zombies something to grab onto.

  9. Stay hydrated. Make sure you have consistant access to fresh, clean water.

  10. Lock the goddamned door already.

5 comments:

Cindy L said...

LOL have you heard Jonathan Coulton's "Re Your Brains"? While you're at it, listen to his other great stuff, my friend just sent me TONS of CDs of his (love "Skullcrusher Mountain" and Creepy Doll) BTW I'm baaaaack!

Brigitta M. said...

No, I hadn't heard of him...'til now. Thanks for the recommend. You're back? For real?!? *Faints*

Anonymous said...

If your concerns are to surive pick up the book called the zombie Survival guide by max brooks best book learned a lot now I'm set in the event of an attack

Anonymous said...

If your concerns are to surive pick up the book called the zombie Survival guide by max brooks best book learned a lot now I'm set in the event of an attack

Anonymous said...

if planning on locking the door, make sure zombies are outside first dude!