Flipped Out

There's a time and a place for logic. Watching cartoons is not one of those times. I'm specifically speaking of the ever-popular "brain removal" technique that is repeated on many of these programs. Y'know, the one where they flip open the head and just take out the brain and the "victim" of this technique is either A) a drooling idiot or B) no one notices any difference.

The thing is, I started thinking about this technique as it may come in handy someday. How? Who the heck cares? I just like finding "possibly useful stuff." And this whole thought process took out a good chunk of a day when I'd rather be doing practically nothing. Haven't decided whether this sucks or not, but I did come to some rather strange conclusions.

1. In order to do this you'd need a bonesaw of some sort. The skull is a rather tough thing to cut open. In other words, the second-hand knives I bought at a garage sale just won't work.

2. You'd have to have a measure of dexterity in order to assure that you don't get bone fragments all over the place. I hate vacuuming, and the cleaner that I have would panic and choke up anything larger than the most miniscule fragment of bone dust.

3. It's probably a good idea to lay down some plastic first. Besides the blood, cerebral fluid can get awfully messy, and the plastic would assure a quick and easy clean up.

4. Wear ear plugs, or, if you care about what the neighbors think, invest in duct tape. This, of course, assumes that the subject you're experimenting on is concious, because for some odd reason I believe there will be a lot of screaming.

5. Plastic or rubber gloves would be a wise investment as well. Don't want to mess up your manicure eh?

6. Scissors, you'll definitely need scissors. Besides the fact that the brain is attached to the spinal cord, you also have the eyeballs. Give the eyeballs to your kids for marbles (shellac them first to assure they roll smoothly).